I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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