she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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