Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
