Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
