And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
