trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
