I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i came on her dog
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
