Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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