Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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