she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
