my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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