Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize