Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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