Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
