Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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