Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
