She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
