he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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