bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
