Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
