Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
