the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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