So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
