Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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