Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
