she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
