Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
