We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
After tacos, we're chasing women.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
