I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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