Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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