dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
