U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
