Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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