thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
