Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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