so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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