He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
