weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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