I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
