Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
