I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
