She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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