But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
