Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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