Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
