That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
