He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
