no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
