Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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