this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
