I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's blow job season.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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